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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, after work, I head to the castle. It’s on a hill, overlooking the whole city. The view is insane! I grab a glass of local vino, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m chatting with folks, laughing, and just soaking it all in. Pezinok is beautiful, especially at sunset.

Slovakia’s First Female President, Zuzana Caputova, Takes Office in a Divided Country (Published 2019)